Lyrics Input

[icedragon]

Hey everyone I wrote a new song and I wanted to get some input on it so I thought I'd ask you guys. Let me know what you think.

Title: Get Away (From This Place)

Verse: Back home,
I'm sitting in my room,
The lights are off,
But my music's on.
And I know,
I shouldn't be this way,
But I can't stop,
What people do.

Lead: The things that people say,
The things that people do,
To make you feel like,
They want nothing to do with you.

Chorus: Alone again,
But I don't know what I should do,
I'm sure my friends,
Are having their fun.
But they don't know,
That I am sitting here alone,
Wanting to run away,
Wanting to get away from this place.

Verse: Still awake,
It's three o'clock in the,
Morning now,
But I still can't sleep.
And I'll shake,
This empty feeling off,
Eventually,
With uncertainty.

Lead: But I am full of fear,
Of not knowing what is near,
But I don't want to live this way,
The rest of my life.

Chorus

Verse: And now I'm seeing the red all over my hand,
Knowing that it's alright.
Cause it's all in my head as I lay in my bed,
The tears filling my eyes.
And now I scream out loud as the walls close around,
Losing track of the time,
Wishing I was found to pick me off the ground,
So that I'd be just fine.

Chorus (x2)
Outro

[PrettyBaby24]

Wow that's amazing. How did you manage to get into my head?

[icedragon]

lol. cuz i'm special that way. and becuase a lot of people go through this so it makes it easy. it's what i do when i write songs. i make it about something that a lot of people, especially teenagers, can relate to.

[tomfeltonsgirl]

gosh! i relate alot to the chorus and so i was really kinda touched by the song. i wish i could here wat it ounds like.

[DreamClouds]

i want to hear it too! that was beautiful.

[MagicalTrisana]

lol, spazz. you like showing off this song don't you :-p But yeah, so we need to get a melody and such worked out for that. :-p *hugs* talk to you later

[TrishyKay]

The message of the song is basically exactly like a lot of other songs. Teenager who thinks everyone else has this great life and they're the only one suffering from loneliness and such. We all get that feeling once in a while. Lots of good songs are based on it.

It's written decently, I think. I like how some lines rhyme and some don't. It reminds me of "Adam's Song" by Blink 182. A line in that song goes, "I'm too depressed to go on, you'll be sorry when I'm gone."

One thing I don't understand in the lyrics is this.

And I'll shake,
This empty feeling off,
Eventually,
With uncertainty.

If the song is like.. talking about being empty and not wanting to feel that why, why would you shake the feeling off with uncertainty? I, for one, would be very certain of shaking the feeling off if I could.

It's emo.

[icedragon]

well one reason it's like that is because it is emo. another is because if you're someone who doesn't really know the feeling of hanging out and being really happy you don't really know what it feels like. So you're not sure if you're actually being happy or if you're just lying to yourself...you're uncertain.

[TrishyKay]

Ohh okay

Don't think I was attacking your song, dude! Lol I like it. I was just giving you my POV because no one else seemed too interested in constructive criticism (not saying I'm criticizing! ).

[Lauren]

oh i like Adams Song by Blink 182. and i really like this song.... see if you guys cant get a link online for us to listen to

[icedragon]

I know you weren't attacking me Trish. Just figured I'd answer your question. And if I can come up with a guitar part at the very least then i'll try to get it recorded and stuff.

[TrishyKay]

Coolies. I like hearing other people's songs.. tis cool.

[Kim]

Very nice...I like it