Post by Kim on Jul 31, 2005 11:53:59 GMT -5
Staff Members
Editor’s Column by Kim (Cadence)
Horoscopes by Kay (LaFemmeImmortelle)
Dragon’s Column by Dragon (Dragon/Lord Dragous)
Featured Student by Liz (eregnault85)
Fanfic Reviews by Miki (btvsna)
Ask Jenn by Jenn (Prettybaby24)
Harry Potter Happenings by Erin (AlexiaBell)
Theories by Desi (FailureByDesign)
Insult Column by Gem (Gemini2121)
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Theoretically Speaking...
by Desi (FailureByDesign)
SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING!
For those of us who have finished Half-Blood Prince, we all know to whom the title is owed. For those of you who don't want any part of the book spoiled, this is your chance to turn back. Don't say I didn't warn you...
Severus Snape. The Half-Blood Prince. This was a bit of an interesting story. I'm rather surprised I didn't think of it after seeing the potions book and noting the genius of the writer. In any case, Snape has now become a central character to the story. We all know what he's done, and most of us are confused. What side is Snape on?
An article from the Phoenix Files on Mugglenet proved a delicious point that Snape is on his own side. He only does that which will keep him alive. He killed Dumbledore in a room full of Death Eaters because any other alternative would have earned him a heap load of Avada Kedavra. Then he fled with Draco. Which brings us to the Unbreakable Vow.
This vow ensured that Snape would watch over Draco, protect him, and to complete Draco's task if he should fail. Powerful, no? Upon closer inspection of the situation, Snape had suggested making the vow before he knew the terms. Once Narcissa stated them all, he could not simply back out on the last wish for losing his ground as a Dark Lord supporter. After the vow was made, his life was at stake. By offending any clause of it, Snape would suffer death. Maybe at this point, Snape's web has become so tangled death would be a release.
When will Snape's double life catch up to him? Or maybe upon killing the greatest wizard of all time it already has. It seems that Snape has chosen the life of a Death Eater, but really he has just chosen life itself.
Read more here: www.mugglenet.com/editorials/thephoenixfiles/tpf13.shtml
[glow=blue,2,300]~Desi[/glow]
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HPA 101
By Shona
First I would like to congratulate Hufflepuff on winning their game against Ravenclaw and also to Slytherin for winning against Gryffindor.
Hufflepuff won the first game with an excellent Plumpton pass by their seeker Miki. The Hufflepuff chasers executed a very confusing play (but of course this was the idea) when all three of them appeared to have the Quaffle as the headed for the goalposts, this ended in a brilliant goal by BookwormBabe521! Congratualtions go to everyone who scored goals, Sister991, Lauren and Ravenclaw chaser Lighty for scoring twice. Also to Natalie who somehow tricked Lauren into passing the Quaffle to her. In the confusion Lauren thought Natalie was Nikki. The final score for this match was Hufflepuff 170 Ravenclaw 30.
Slytherin won the second match 240 to 0, with another accidental Plumpton Pass by Desi. Slytherins match was played pretty fast so who knows exactly how many goals each person scored? Underhand tactics by Slytherin (well what did you expect?) as their cheerleader blocked the referees vision during Gryffindors attempt at scoring! Also there was several rather vicious attacks on Gryffindors seeker tomfeltonsgirl. Do you have a grudge Slytherin? Or was it just good tactics to keep the seeker out of the way? Unfortunately for Gryffindor chaser, Murphy, Rachel saw him foul Manda by grabbing her broom tail and awarded Slytherin a penalty. The end of the whack-the-other-beater-with-your-club fight was also seen by Rachel and she awarded another penalty to Slytherin for sassyangel03 hitting NorthCoast with her club!
A special mention goes to Desi and Kay for providing the commentary for the first match and Jenn and Trish for the second match. Also to NorthCoast for taking over Slytherins vacated beater position when Kris was injured. Finally to Gemini_2121 and NorthCoast for being Slytherins team mascot and Kay and Cathy for cheerleading during the match.
The next two matches will be Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin.
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Ravings of a Half-Mad Slytherin
By Gem
Ravings of a Half-Mad Slytherin
Who are the most annoying people on the internet?
*waits while everyone yells 'teenyboppers'*
Well, no, that's not exactly what I was thinking, but close. I was thinking about the people who type like this: y r u 2 being sooooooooooooo mean 2 mea!!!
?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - or - OMG TOM FLTON IS SOO FRIGGING HAWT i DONT NO WAT 2 DO WHTI MYSELF!!!!!!!!!Now, who types like that, you ask? I would point my finger at people in this club, but I think everyone knows who they are. Do you need me to teach you how to type? Does your keyboard lack a caps key? (Or in the case of some people, could you turn the caps lock off?) There are such things as proper nouns, you know. (Please say you know what a proper noun is, please.) Also, do you honestly not know how to spell? Or check your work when you're done? Do you know how utterly ridiculous you look when you type like that? Twenty exclamation points are not needed to make your point, thank you very much. It is an affront to the very literature-based nature of this club.
It is to my horror and dismay that some of this kind of typing is being used by humans with a brain. 'lol' and 'rofl' are commonly used, as is 'brb' and others. I admit that sometimes I reduce myself to such Neanderthalithic (is that even a word?) standards by using 'lmao', and then give myself a mental slap for being so masochistic.
Kudos to those of you who would never embarrass yourselves in that way. It is my wish that everyone who did not capitalize names, beginnings of sentences, and proper nounds on purpose should be hung by their toenails and shot whilst being mauled by a koala. Don't get me wrong, koalas are supremely bad-ass.
Remember, if you disagree with me, you're wrong.
*Gem*
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Fanfic Reviews
By Miki
Blood Ties, by Katinka
This heart wrenching tale of Voldemort's mum is sure to have everyone in tears. Written before the release of HBP, this piece of fanon offers a different idea of what Mrs. Riddle might have been like.
Rated: PG-13, for some violence
I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today!, by Calliope
Any fan of the movie Clerks will love this comic fic. Written as a spin on the classic movie, this fic puts Ron in the place of Donte, Harry as Randle, and Draco as Jay, and Silent Bob as himself.
Rated: R, for language and sexual references
This Dance We Do, by btvsna
Typically speaking, I don't review my own fics, but this is my first request, so I'll break that rule just this once. A sixth year alternate universe fic that is still in progress, this fic written from Ron's point of view goes from the Burrow, to Hermione's house, to Hogwarts, and beyond.
Rated: R, for some sexual implications and violence.
Have a fic you'd like me to review, or is there something in particular you'd like me to read? PM me and let me know!
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Featured Student
By Liz
Hiya every1! You wouldnt guess my featured member if I told ya! LoL
Todays featured Member is our very own Jenn! She is Headmistress along with TrishyKay and Jenn is such a fantastic person! Here is my interview with her
Liz : Congrats Jenn for being Featured Member of the DP! So, are you pleased that you got it???
Jenn *PettyBaby24*:
Yes I am. Actually I'm surprised because I'm not really a student.
Liz : So - What is your favourite subject here at HPA?
Jenn: I love divination and COMC.
Liz : Who is you favourite person/people in HPA? And who are you least favourite people
Jenn: This really isn't a fair question to ask a headmistress now is it?
Liz : What is your favourite person in the HP series? And least fav??
Jenn: I love Ron and Dumbledore and Dobby. Of course I don't like Voldermort or the Malfoys.
Liz : Did you used to teach or do you teach a class??
Jenn: I am the Literary Discussion teacher and I also teach HPA Potpourri which is kind of random.
Liz : Is there anything that people should know bout you?? I've had the chance to talk to you and I still like talking to you and knowing new things
Jenn: That I'm not a big of a bitch as I seem. LOL. I've had a few really stressfull weeks lately and I may have been not so nice a few time.
Liz : And Finally : Do you love me?? Hahaha j/k Do you find yourself to be here for a long time yet??
Jenn: I think so. I hope so.
Liz: Thank you Jenn for answering my questions! And again, congrats for being the DP Featured Student!
Jenn: Well thank you for choosing me.
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Ask Jenn
Dear Jenn,
There's an old classmate that keeps trying to get together with me and a bunch of other old friends to do something, but we really don't want to or haven't the time. On top of that, I don't have the money to go out as often with these old friends so it's kinda difficult when he's asking every so often. What would you suggest? Thanks in advance
~FedUp
Dear Fedup,
You have two options that I can see. The first is to tell your friend flat out that you really don't have the time or the money to go out a lot. This option may end up severing the friendship though. The other option is to do somehting that is either really inexpensive or free every once in a while. You can plan it way in advance so that everyone can come and enjoy it too. A movie night at someone's house is always a good idea. Have everyone bring the fixings for ice cream sundaes and make a ton of popcorn. Maybe have everyone give you a movie title or two and then draw a couple out of a hat. If you have something like netflix or blockbuster then you won't be spending any extra money for the movies.
~Jenn
Dear Jenn,
I have a friend who keeps accusing me of stealing this guy she likes. The guy and I are just friends, and it's really annoying how possessive of him she is. Even being insanely blunt with her about the situation isn't working. Sometimes I am really mean to her and I try to be nice, but it never works. What should I do?
~Annoyed Chica
Dear Annoyed Chica,
I wish I had the right answer for you but the problem is something that you can not fix. The problem is her insecurity. The key is not to change how you are handling things. If you stop talking to your guy friend just for her, then she is winning. Does she even stand a chance with this guy? If not maybe he should say something to her himself about the fact that they can be friends, but there is no chance of romance. I hope this helps.
~Jenn
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Written by Dragon/Lord Dragous
*Disclaimer * This section may contain some funny, hilarous, and otherwise laughable contents. Not suited for people with headaches, soar throats and no sense of humor. I warn you now, you will laugh at something within this article. Failure to do so will cause you to shiver up like an old maid and die.
This week is another round of funny pictures. I couldn't find any new funny jokes, so I'm torturing you all again with funny pictures!
Tough Baby
Bird Bath
Psychic Troubles
Remember, if you have anything funny your just dieing to show to people, send them my way. I'm paying 1G for funny jokes, funny pictures, or funny pranks you can pull on people! So send them in today, and you might just get some money out of it, if your entries are choosen!
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Aries (March 20 - April 19)
It's indigestion. Maybe a good burp will help you out.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You're running out of hellebore. It's time to go shopping!
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Have you made a visit to Diagon Alley lately?
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Bring a compass. Whereever you're going you might get lost. Better to be safe.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You think therefore you are.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You fart therefore you exist.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You'll save a life in the next few days.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Smile and spread the joy around.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will encounter a baby of some sort.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You require sleep in order to get that potion to come out well.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 17)
It's time for decaf!
Pisces (February 18 - March 19)
Step slowly but surely.
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Editor’s Column
By Kim
This week I decided to take some links that had interesting Harry Potter stories behind them and post them for you. If one is a spoiler, I will put a warning beside it.
Mugglenet is again making a scrapbook for Tom Felton for his birthday. Submissions are due by September 1st. Go here to read more: www.mugglenet.com/tombs.shtml
*SPOILER* Here is a video of a insane person spoiling the book for many people at the midnight party for HBP. gprime.net/video.php/pottercrash
*SPOILER* Here is a video of how HBP was spoiled for Tom Hanks: hankspotter.ytmnd.com/
Rather awesome photoshopped picture of Harry, Hermione, and Ron with a goth look: www.mugglenet.com/viewer/?image_location=gothtrio.jpg
New GOF Image: www.mugglenet.com/viewer/?image_location=gof/triobyfire.jpg
*SPOILER* Very funny story, but also kinda creepy. Read here for more info about the person who died in HBP being on a piece of toast: cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5601561868
That's all for this week! If I see anymore, I'll let you know!
-Kim
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Thanks for reading the DP! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to PM the DP editor, Cadence. And she’ll be sure to answer!
WOW Kay has been right for my Horoscope EVERY TIME!